Let's gone Wide Bay
Anzac jerseys cause me to have an out of body experience
Welcome to The Maroon Observer, a weekly newsletter about rugby league, Queensland and rugby league in Queensland.
Sunshine State-wide
The junior statewide competitions are drawing to a rapid close. Saturday will see a triple header of grand finals at Langlands, featuring:
Harvey Norman U17W: Tigers vs Falcons, 10.30am
Cyril Connell U17M: Bears vs Cutters, 12.00pm
Harvey Norman U19W: Tigers vs Clydesdales, 1.30pm
I didn’t catch much of the semi-finals, although I was impressed by the briefest glimpse into the state of U17s play. There’s a few girls in the ranks that would have been capable of working their way into a BMD team a few years ago, such is the rapid rate at which the standard across the board is improving. Having a complete season (six rounds with finals, up from four last year with no finals) is a great step forward. Even if the eyeballs aren’t there, that’s possibly a better use of resources than the Colts competition but opinions are free to differ.
The U19 men’s Mal Meninga Cup will conclude in a couple of weeks, with the last round of regular season play coming this weekend. Tweed and Mackay have almost certainly stitched up finals places, with a chasing group of five theoretically in contention. The Seagulls have won three of the last five titles.
But that’s not what this is about. This is about the Wide Bay Bulls.
Wide Bay is the region that’s not quite the Southeast and not quite Central Queensland, comprising principally of Bundaberg, Maryborough and Hervey Bay, and known for sugar cane and aged care. The area hasn’t really been represented at the highest level in Queensland rugby league since the Bundaberg Grizzlies were responsible for one of the worst all-time QCup seasons in 1998 (zero wins, average margin of 32 points).
The Bulls were introduced in the junior ranks of the statewide competitions post-covid but have had little on-field success. Wide Bay gained notoriety by getting their asses absolutely handed to them in the final round of last year’s Mal Meninga Cup campaign, going down to Burleigh 130 to zip. You may recall it was the game that brought some attention to Broncos prospect, Coby Black.
After that, the QRL bumped the Bulls down to the U17s exclusively while they build not just a pathway, but a club to go around it. While compiling the Pyramid Premiership, I noticed that the Bulls weren’t in last place in either competition. Redcliffe ran 0-6 in Cyril Connell and Wynnum finished the HNU17s also 0-6 to pick up their respective wooden spoons. The Bulls were beneficiaries of cancellations, presumably due to the weather, and so were awarded a draw in each competition for their round 4 fixture against the Clydesdales.
Now the Bulls’ points difference was substantially worse in the women’s comp and marginally worse in the men’s than the teams they finished above, which hints that maybe they weren’t necessarily a whole competition point better but who cares?
Not last: that’s an achievement. Now to get a win in Cyril Connell.
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Around the grounds
Raiders 24 defeated Sharks 20. Fun game, even if there weren’t enough points in the second half, although the ones that did come were very funny. Canberra and Cronulla ending up at approximately the same level feels right, even if that’s a big downgrade for the Sharks and a big upgrade for the Raiders from pre-season expectations. The Sharks may be stuck in that well both the Eels and Souths have found themselves in earlier in the 20s, where they couldn’t quite get it done even though they had all the tools. Also, those teams did beat other contenders at some point but the Sharks have almost zero scalps to their name. No bueno. Read Jason Oliver at Rugby League Writers for 3 Takeaways from Raiders v Sharks.
Cowboys 22 defeated Panthers 18. The Panthers are a grim looking outfit. It's as if everything that went right, inexplicably with the rub of the green and against the grain, over the last four years is now due for payment in installments of embarrassing 20+ point concessions. Crazily, the Panthers won the territory battle in the last four losses but blew it all on handling errors, shitty defence and low effort play - things the Panthers dynasty has been defined by the absence of. It's as good a time to be a Nathan Cleary truther as any since COVID, outside of World Club Challenges. Binning Tago two minutes after the fact with a minute left in the match only serves to highlight incompetence of the referees without actually providing an advantage to the wronged team. Also, the Cowboys played. More to come in the next Bovine Bulletin.
Rabbitohs 20 defeated Roosters 14. Conflict on Caxton III, which I called “juiceless” and spent time noting empty seats and the chattiness of the crowd at the “sell-out”, was pure fruit concentrate compared to this so-called derby. 22,000 turned up in the alleged heart of rugby league but twice as many show up in the rain in Brisbane to watch the Dolphins flail about with flippers for hands. The average Sydney fan would soil themselves attending a meaningful game at Suncorp, which is hardly the apogee of an intimidating environment outside of Origin. James Tedesco has a public ass exposure fetish.
Bears 36 defeated Jets 16. The Jets never quite got in reach of the result. Burleigh kept Ipswich at arm’s length throughout, too strong and quick for their opponents in Titanomachy. I talked about Burleigh’s aging core in the pre-season but they’ve turned over the entire backline (except Sami Sauiluma) and replaced Pat Politoni and it all seems to be going fine. Good for them. Cole Geyer, maybe?
Dolphins 36 defeated Titans 10. The Dolphins have finally finished their trial games and got underway in round 5 of the season. The Red Fish have won just under 40% of their games in the NRL but have claimed 80% of the Brawls on the Beach. Much like dolphins in the wild like torturing other animals (look it up, dolphins are mean), Redcliffe love turning up to inflict pain on Gold Coast. Otherwise, I find it difficult to pinpoint exactly how the Dolphins won this: they just played better than the Titans from 1-17 and Gold Coast never really got into the contest. A game that was weird for it’s normalcy.
Cutters 16 defeated Pride 12. My impression is that the North Queensland derbies have just a little more sting that the southern equivalents are missing (Souths-Wynnum aside, maybe). This edition of the Long Derby began at lightning speed, scoring 24 of the game’s total 28 points in the first 20 minutes. The pace eased as fatigue set in, from a gallop to a canter, then a trot and then a slog in the final 15 minutes. Mackay found the break through with dimunitive fullback Raydan Burns running around the exhausted Pride left edge in the final minutes. Northern at least seem to have woken from their slumber and Mackay look pretty good. The Cutters were top of the ladder this time last year before sliding down to 12th, so let’s not get ahead of ourselves, but they earned this win, only the ninth in this derby since 2008. Nick Lui-Toso provided a textbook run off the back fence from a drop-out in the dying seconds of the game.
Broncos 46 defeated Tigers 18. This game was whatever and the scoreline more flattering to the Broncos than the actual play was. There was a moment after Paix tried to go himself for the try (seeing too much of that) and got the set restart. After going back 10 for being held up, Willison was going to take the play the ball with Paix at dummy half. The ref insisted Paix take it as the ball carrier. Willison looked mildly panicked as he tried to work out where he was supposed to pass before getting the nod from Hunt for a very slow but accurate pass to the right. Just goes to show that even the worst NRL 9 knows his trade better than a young bench forward, never mind you or me. They all make it look easy to an extent. More to come in the next Pony Picayune.
Tigers 26 defeated Falcons 18. This Melbourne Cup was as big a disaster as any of the horse versions where multiple animals die on national TV. The entire first half was a slew of penalties and errors and if this is the Storm's future, we have little to fear. The balance of the match was played with higher quality but if Tahj Wood looks like a superstar, I'm forced to conclude these teams just aren't very good. Sure there was tension to the end but the result won't matter either way in the long run.
“You can’t argue with that”
Voss and Ennis were furiously in agreement in the wake of the Fa'asuamaleaui sin bin. Voss continued:
Where do we go with it? He [Kaufusi] didn’t lay down. The system then works… it takes them a few tackles to work it out. I’d rather have it. The player gets up, doesn’t stay down and we work it out a little later.
I am not alone when a small part of my brain turns to pure tau protein when we have to go back multiple plays for a referee to make a call. That was the absolute lowest point of 2021: referees going back a whole set to penalise some bullshit they didn’t see because V’Landys had decided mothers didn’t like watching players get brain damaged. Boy, have I got bad news about how CTE happens and how well this year’s crackdown is going.
Wouldn’t a better system be if there were two refs, they made a call and we all just got on with it? Commentators spent years bagging out referees, process and any sense of safety. Now that refereeing is slow, inconsistent and, worst of all, indecisive, the alleged experts can’t get enough of it. If a flipped coin had landed a different way, Voss would be talking up the CONTROVERSY and how this would make good talking points for NRL 360, a show no one watches.
It’s crazy what a few catered lunches buys.
Troop jerseys
I don't want to engage in culture war slop about respecting the troops but this can't continue. This is madness:
There is so much going on here, I need a lie down every time I look at it. In terms of class, this design is marginally above wearing a giant rat costume to honour the Rats of Tobruk. Just dial it down a notch or two and take a couple of things off, including the logo of a manufacturer that supplied Imperial Japan.
I simply must stop…
V’landys has added even more to his plate, in the form of a new short-film festival he wants to introduce to Sydney. Despite the additional responsibility, his passion for his roles hasn’t diminished.
Of course. A natural fit.
Intermission
I know I said this was a slopfest but kids, seriously, never give up.
Julian Christian obviously saw something but so did Josh Rogers. It’s not exactly Cobbo vs Fuller from a few years ago but we’ll take it.
*cackling maniaclly* Hess go smash.
And some bonus Intermission-style highlights from Cyril Connell.
Upcoming Slate
Broncos versus Roosters, Friday 8pm, Suncorp
This is less a get-right game than a turn-your-enemies-into-dust game. The issue is that the Roosters will be smarting from the round 1 depantsing, so the forwards at least will cause a bit of trouble, adding yet another game to the series of teams who get up for the Broncos and the Broncos only. If the Broncos get unsettled or the Sydney backs string something together, then it could get annoying. Tip: Broncos
Rabbitohs versus Cowboys, Saturday 5.30pm, Sydney
This will give us a firm idea where to place North Queensland in the pecking order. The Bunnies are outperforming expectation and should get better as various players return from injury, although they have lost a number to various hamstring strains following their win over the Roosters. It’s about as good a shot at a “good” team as the Cowboys are going to get, so what do they have in store? I’m not at all confident they’re going to deliver, despite recent improvements. Tip: Rabbitohs
Pride versus Wynnum, Sunday 2.10pm, Barlow Park
Last year’s minor premiers - at some distance - have started the year 0-4. While they looked a little more alive in last week’s derby against the Cutters, I am expecting Wynnum to be a cut above Mackay. It’s one to watch for Ronald Philitoga on the Gulls’ wing and Cameron Bukowski at hooker, as if the Broncos need another one of those. Wingers Paulo and Valemei, and Thomas Mikaele all made themselves felt on behalf of the Cowboys last week, so it’s not going to be one way traffic if they head to Cairns. Tip: Wynnum
(Tips 6 / 15 in 2025; 48 / 92 in 2024)
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Read this
Nic Darveniza: ‘A poisoned chalice’: The brutal cost of Clive Palmer’s Southport Tigers spending spree. Very good stuff.
Campo: After four straight losses, Penrith Panthers' NRL dynasty has entered uncharted waters
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Rugby League Writers: Brisbane's Set Piece Brilliance, Tino's Width, Surrender Tackles & Garlick's Try
The Sportress: Six, again: Upside down
The Roar: Round 5 Talking Points: The high contact crackdown is on… or is it?
Storm Machine: Game 718 – S28E05 Review
Listen: Progressive Rugby League with Quentin Hull, talking commentary
Notes
Foley Shield 2025 is scheduled for May 3 through 5 at Townsville Sports Precinct.
Someone asked this on Reddit, which I made an account to answer, but round 6 is the first round (other than Magic and COVID) since 2016 that all of the games will be played out of Sydney and it is the first time a full round of NRL games (other than Magic and COVID) will be played outside of Sydney. With the AFL in Adelaide for their Magic Round ripoff (which we all know the NRL ripped off from Super League), this is a good weekend for Sydneysiders to reflect on a) the existence of the rest of the country and b) doing something other than not attending NRL games, like not attending the Waratahs game.
Look away tortured Bears fans: NRL set to break your hearts again with surprise expansion call. Insofar as there is any “decision” made - and I think it’s likely it is made with reference to negotiations for inclusion in the next broadcast deal, rather than a forever decision - it’s great that we find out obliquely through stuff leaked to newspapers than through the Controlling Body being open and honest with fans.
Chammas reporting the NRL is looking at a third of Super League. Bower reporting that the French clubs will be included. It will shock no one that the NRL has a better TV deal in France than SL does, so the NRL doesn’t consider the French teams an impediment. One way to view the coup then is the pro-Woods faction might also be an anti-NRL alignment, circling the wagons to keep the rich Aussies at bay. The money will talk eventually though and the English clubs will fall into line.
News Corp Completes the Sale of Foxtel Group to DAZN. I’d be surprised if this has an impact on the 2028 broadcast negotiations, let alone any consumers, any time soon.
More than 60,000 tickets sold within hours to the historic Rugby League Ashes series in the UK
How rugby league is using kabaddi to get the south Asian community on side. The problems with this piece being that it doesn’t really explain what kabaddi is, how it’s integrated into rugby league or whether this will really truly be the time that rugby league finally makes its way into the South Asian expat community, either here or in the UK.
Not rugby league but interesting: Coastal Carolina is gonna give away food at football games. Here’s how the math works
Neat: Moreton Bay oyster farm survives cyclone with help of wave wall innovation
Nickelware
A reminder that if you would like naming rights sponsorship for the most esoteric of rugby league competitions, send me an email. I will shill the Great Northern Queensland Championship to a few hundred subscribing lunatics if that’s what it takes.
I think you have included earlier week’s watch guide and NRL North Standings tables. Otherwise great read as per usual.