Die Regenmeisterinen
Die Regenmeisterinen
Maroons and Cowboys win, some other unpleasantness, idle footy chat and more expansion garbage
“From Coolangatta to the Cape, celebrate this one Queensland”
As soon as the rain hit the camera lens, I knew Queensland were nearly assured of victory. Die Regenmeisterinen doesn’t exactly roll off the tongue but Schumacher and Caracciola would be lucky to combine for one-tenth of the Maroons’ mastery of the conditions.
The Maroons played Origin the way its meant to be played. Get physical (led by multiple axings by future Immortal Evania Pelite), slow the ruck down to a comfortable pace - cheat if necessary - and profit from your opponent’s discomfort. Tamika Upton’s almost complete absence from proceedings through the first half was a testament to the capability of this team.
New South Wales ran out of ideas, then energy and then, finally, time. The shifts were too slow, the ball carrying too sloppy and the attack too unimaginative. Heads were down too early. It was telling that their only points came from a length of the field intercept, as the Blues had shown a complete inability to fire a serious shot any closer to the line than that.
As the available options waned, the Blues spent a solid ten minutes trying to get a strip as the Big Play to Turn Around the Momentum. They failed. Do you remember when they were going to sweep the series?
The Blues now have only won one of the last five trophies, depsite an arguable talent advantage. Kylie Hilder is under pressure to retain her job because this matters to enough people that kind of pressure can exist which is, in its own way, a milestone.
Thank you for reading The Maroon Observer
Well well well, if it isn't the consequences of my decisions
Maguire gave Slater an absolute bath. Slater very predictably picked the wrong team and got belted by someone who did the normal thing and arrived at close to his best side. While Cobbo, Fifita, et al might not have changed the result, there might have been some dignity in not going into halftime down 34-0. Calling this a dacking would only describe one-tenth of the bullying handed out. It’s a gargantuan L for a coach who has been cast in the big brain mold.
In the first half, Queensland had no ball, no territory, nothing. The refs were giving away zero - to the point of suspicion - and New South Wales even less. I looked away for five minutes and the Maroons conceded ten points. I didn't bother finding out why or, indeed, watching the second half. Life is simply too short and I can’t afford to have my blood pressure rise that high for that long.
The series isn't over but it's a long (and well worn in recent years - see the game 2 result for 2019 through 2022) road back, almost as far as Queensland's collective heads were shoved up their own asses by the Blues pack, Stephen Crichton, Latrell Mitchell and (the very brave boys of) Zac Lomax and Dylan Edwards.
I also forgot to make fun of Jake Trbojevic last week and now I’ll never get that chance. Thanks Billy.
More from someone who watched the second half:
Around the grounds
Some observations - not as many as I would have liked - from around the league in the soggy Origin phase of what are turning into seasons that are both simultaneously competitive and uncompetitive.
Broncos vs Warriors: The Broncos are bad and their only path back to good is a) get their best players back, b) have them play well and c) hope for some luck. The top four seems foregone, the only question is whether Brisbane can do all this in time to salvage a top eight finish. Note I watched a movie instead of ruining my Saturday and you should have too because after getting within 25 minutes of a premiership, only taking that last step forward, which they seem unable to do, would make tuning in worthwhile. The Titans have a +76 point transitive win over the Broncos.
Dragons vs Dolphins: Adam Gee is a doofus. NRL games at Kogarah look like a well attended QCup game. It should go without saying but I will repeat it for the record anyway, that all the nice things that I’ve recently said about the Dolphins are contingent on them fielding something close to their best lineup for the rest of the season, minus the obvious Flegler and Gilbert. Losing JMK for any period of time, on top of having to play Tesi Niu to replace Bostock, is Not Ideal. Sub-replacement level even.
Dolphins vs Tweed: The Tweed Heads Seagulls. Are. Constitutionally. Incapable. Of Defending.
Magpies vs Tigers: The Tigers are total crap this year and it’s going to take them a decade to rebuild from winning one (1) premiership in something like four (4) decades. Harry Walters scored a hat trick en route to the Magpies comeback and the Broncos sorely need an edge forward. Brisbane aren’t afraid of a bit of nepotism. Just ask Cory Paix.
Jets vs Hunters: If people think North Queensland are an unserious football team, I present to you the Ipswich Jets. *turns off at halftime and later checks final score* Oh dear! There might be time to discuss just how bad the currently 1-12 Jets are and if they’re close to taking another step closer to the rest of the league’s also-rans. They’re four wins and a hundred points difference adrift of Tweed Heads. I think we will wait to see if they announce a hire... oh, it’s Tye Ingebrigtsen. There you go. I guess this is it then.
Cowboys vs Panthers: This is the Panthers’ 19th regular season loss since 2020 and a hopeful picture of what the future might hold for Penrith. It was somewhat to the Cowboys’ benefit to catch the Panthers on their worst day in five years, whether you want to consider available line-up, the weather and/or the handling errors, but the Cows still managed to cruise home despite two sin bins (one for The Shadow and another for The Boilermaker). The Cowboys have now won five of their last six. They’d won four of their last six after round 16 last year. Are the Cowboys getting serious or just feasting on leftovers?
This week in expansion bullshit
Firstly, we were treated to a dripfeed of stories, largely centre around noted coward and war cirme apologist, John Singleton. Singleton’s role in the media seems to be as a salve to the geriatrics still reading the papers, functioning as a reminder of the halcyon go-go 80s when they were young and as a last fling with relevance as that generation deals with its senescence. He also seems to be involved at the Newtown Jets.
Singleton wrote a letter to the Controlling Body saying he would do “whatever it takes” and then later sent some texts to Roy Masters, withdrawing his interest and complaining of being used as leverage in negotiations between WA and the Bears. Given the rise and collapse of Newtown’s attempts to ingratiate itself with the WA bid in the space of about two weeks and that it was entirely played out in the newspaper, speaks to the fecklessness and lack of seriousness of Singleton, a man born during the second World War but who seemingly learned none of its lessons.
Secondly:
Nearly a dozen consortiums [so, 11] have contacted head office to flag their interest in joining the premiership as the ARL Commission declares its doors are open to expansion hopefuls over the next month.
The commission met on Wednesday only hours before the second State of Origin game in Melbourne, where they confirmed they were ready to kick-off their quest to expand to potentially 20 teams in the lead-up to the 2032 Brisbane Olympics…
The return of a team in Perth and the addition of a side in Port Moresby are considered formalities.
None of this is really news I guess but then meeting held, rubber stamps wielded, minutes taken, action items actioned all sounds like things are happening but, as anyone with an email job knows, means jack all.
Thirdly, is this anything? We can discuss where $30 million is going to come from and whether that’s enough to just buy a licence outright but more importantly, why would the bid consortium put a letter on NRL WA letterhead to send to the CEO of NRL WA? You’re supposed to pay a brand agency $4 million dollars to come up with some dots or circles or something and a font.
Intermission
There goes my hero.
Not quite Gorden Tallis but as close as you’re ever going to see and on a bigger name than Brett Hodgson, who I’m sure is only remembered because of that play.
And who said the men's game wouldn't take inspiration from the women?
And apropos of de nada:
Are there meant to be commas, like Big Bad and Ronnie Rambo are two nicknames, or is it just one long nickname?
Pointless trivia: 2024 Interstate Championship
Going back to when the women’s interstate match was first bestowed with the State of Origin branding, and ignoring all of the junior Origins played before covid, here’s how each Interstate Championship series has played out:
Queensland has only won the championship series twice, in 2020 and 2023.
A win in the final senior men’s game would only draw the Maroons level on 4-4 this year but, as per classic Origin rules, the title would then be retained by the defending champions and count as a full series win. See also 1999 and 2002.
Aggregate be damned. What are we, Europeans?
Upcoming Slate
It’s QCup Indigenous round, so I’m borrowing the names from the official websites for the names of the relevant First Nations peoples. Please do not email me if this is wrong. I will just promise to do better next time in advance and save everyone the trouble.
QRLM - Pride vs Cutters in Gimuy Walubara Yidinji country, Saturday 3pm
Jake Clifford and Thomas Duffy, the future of the North Queensland Cowboys, take on Anthony Milford and Jack Madden in a classic yardstick contest that is absolutely going to define whether the Cowboys will be any good next year and no further correspondence will be entered into. Edrick versus Derby is a match-up brimming with potential, so watch all four halves swing it the other way to Tenza/Tamouepea. Tip: Pride
NRLM - Cowboys vs Sea Eagles in Wulgurukaba country, Saturday 7.35pm
Let’s just put all our NRL eggs in the Cowboys basket, at least for the next couple of weeks until the NRL is back to full strength, and assume they’re going to be box office. We had another couple weeks of sparkling football from North Queensland this time last year, so let’s just enjoy the last moments of Townsend’s Townsville career playing out as they bully Seibold’s Sea Eagles and Tom Trbojevic at centre. It’s going to be a long afternoon for Viliami Vailea. Tip: Cowboys
QRLM - Magpies vs Wynnum in Quandamooka country, Sunday 2.10pm
Two pretty average teams going head to head for the Mitch Cronin Cup, in what I think is (most years, anyway) one of the league’s better rivalries. Radean Robinson moves back into the halves as Tristan Sailor comes back into the team from injury, which will help the Magpies a lot. Cameron Bukowski, Maroons U19 player, will come off the bench again and will probably spend some minutes head to head with Blake Mozer in an audition for Billy Walters’ job in 2027. Can Wynnum find anything other than the same repetitive attacking structure and get their season back on track? Tip: Wynnum
(Tips 23 / 47)
Watch Guide
Notes
NRL villains swoop in as Chad Townsend quits Cowboys in NRL stunner. Whoever’s come up with that headline has done well. Bravo, fair play, etc. The Cowboys’ Michael Luck said, “We told Chad last week that there would be nothing here for him unfortunately with the salary cap” and added that he didn’t remember saying good luck. I am less concerned with what the Roosters are doing than interested in the Cowboys fronting 2025 with Dearden, Clifford and Duffy as their top three halves choices? (I had planned to watch Cutters-Pride back but I haven’t had time - more on that later I guess)
Former Cowboy Emry Pere sent off in 10th minute of Queensland Cup clash for alleged homophobic slur. The Clydesdales issued this, which probably should have led with the not condoning homophobia paragraph, instead of following three paragraphs supporting Pere, who is not the victim here. Pere’s getting a two match ban, which you can debate the merits of among yourselves, and has at least acknowledged he was wrong.
League commentator allegedly uses mock Indigenous voice. Jesus Christ Toowoomba, get it together. Next someone is going to want to bring back the Edwin Brown stand with authentic nickname.
Related: Northern Pride leaders declare zero tolerance for racial and homophobic slurs.
Treasurer gives the tick to $4.9b ANZ-Suncorp deal. I had idly wondered how much longer a Suncorp independent of the big 4 would be allowed to exist but more importantly, what happens to Lang Park? Does this city really need another ANZ Stadium? “Lang Park brought to you by ANZ”? “Brisbane Stadium protected by ANZ Falcon®”? They haven’t taken the logo off the top of the last one.
Broncos: Jordan Pereira retired and Jack Gosiewski has a broken arm, Flecher Baker with a knee problem. What do you really want from them at this point?
Cowboys: The Boilermaker is off the hook
Dolphins: Jeremy Marshall-King has two fractures in his foot but will be back for the Dolphins this season. Bostock and Tabuai-Fidow back next week.
Not Queensland but the breakdown of Eels scrums is great
Good stats: Melbourne stand out from a group of limited contenders
Real sicko shit: Drafting the Brisbane rep sides for the Chairman’s Challenge (I like it)
Interesting: What is cable TV in 2024? US focussed but I imagine the effects on Australian TV are largely the same.
“NRL clubs are expected to demand changes to the six-again ruck infringement rule - or its complete abolishment – following another weekend of controversy. There is growing resentment and confusion in the game over what constitutes a six-again and what doesn't, with no clear-cut guidelines for teams or fans to follow.” Wow who could have known, not me.
Concerningly close to misere complète again and only saved by the Titans bye. Haven't had a whiff of a Q4 grand slam in a while.
Despite my diatribe against commentary, I think Peter Psaltis is one of the best. I have a lot of time for him since his days calling QCup but he is affable, knowledgeable and actually calls the game. The line on full time sounded prepared but it also felt good.
Has the NRL considered saving money by ditching The Bunker and letting the former player commentator with brain damage make the calls on replay instead?
Who is the short drop out rule change for? It far less egregious than the entire six again fiasco but it feels like the V’Landys era has slowly moved the aesthetics in the direction of Aussie rules because… reasons, I guess. There are a lot more randomising aerial contests than when I were a lad.
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