Feted by the NRL and the PNG government
And an open cover letter to the QRL board
Welcome to The Maroon Observer, a weekly newsletter about rugby league, Queensland and rugby league in Queensland.
I never thought they’d eat my face
The NRL tripping over it's own dick coming into Magic Round is a tradition like no other. The high point was 2021, when in the week leading up, Peter V’landys lost a defamation case, the sport was dying under an overload of set restarts and a head high tackle crackdown had been laid over the top.
In 2026, Peter V’landys is in court for a defamation case, the sport is dying under an overload of set restarts and I don’t know where this crackdown on pushing, escorts and other aerial ping pong nonsense has come from but here we are.
Given the average fan operates on a significant delay from us sickos on the cutting edge, I doubt any of this will get much of a mention during Schoolies for Dads. Instead, the final match of the weekend, featuring the Dragons and Panthers, will be treated with the appropriate respect as a blockbuster whose quality is reflective of where the NRL is right now. In the absence of anything meaningful to cover, like panicking about moving Magic Round because of torrential rain, and before they are allowed to fully restrict their attention to Origin for two months straight, the media turned on the expansion franchises this week.
Nine sent Zac Bailey to PNG and found the same things I told you about a few years ago. Much of this has been obvious for anyone that hasn’t been feted by the NRL and the PNG government into writing out-of-touch PR for James Marape.
While I agree with the sentiment, I've also made my peace with what's going to happen. That there’s a hole in the ground where the resort extension is going, 18 months out from when it will need to be completed, is as good a sign that something is going to be built and as presenting it negatively is a reflection of the average journalist’s lack of construction knowledge.1
Another op-ed in THIS MASTHEAD went after the Chiefs’ tax-freedom: PNG’s tax breaks make a mockery of the salary cap. And you’re paying for it. No way! I’ve been saying this for ages and other than future Prime Minister Pauline Hanson, no one gives a shit. It is disgusting that each of the NRL clubs are getting $4 million of taxpayer funds to wave through the Chiefs. No one cares.
When I was a kid, a million bucks was a lot. Being a “millionaire” meant being wealthy, not just owning your own home.2 It is now 2026 and a million bucks is both a lot of money - that would be a life changing for almost all households - and nothing at all - what difference does $5.4 million over four years make to the federal budget? Perhaps this is the source of the apathy.
That apathy should be mirrored by a disinterest in the program’s overall spend. The Commonwealth of Australia is a country whose budget expenditure last year was $785 billion. The Independent State of Papua New Guinea is another country, whose expenditure last year was $9 billion. $60 million would be less than a rounding error on either budget statement.
If Albanese backtracked on the Chiefs tomorrow, the proposed spend on rugby league in the Pacific will not be re-deployed to solving any social problem you could care to name. There would be no hospitals or schools, or even doctors or teachers, here or there.
Labor does not respect the intelligence of its electorate and desperately wants to be seen as serious by unserious, unthinking people who are bred to hate them. Witness the seemingly endless parade of cuts to social welfare.
If the LNP was in power, they would refuse to spend the money to make society better on the principle that they hate you and instead hand it over to mining companies to further exploit PNG. We wait with bated breath to see what stupidity ONP introduces into this heady, unstable mix.
What would a redeployment even look like? $60 million per year does not go very far among the millions of people experiencing a cost of living crisis. Offering ten bucks would be insulting more than anything else. Perhaps we could focus on not sending the US billions upon billions of dollars for submarines that are somehow both non-existent and obsolete, and not support US foreign policy that is the direct cause of global economic instability? Just a thought.
Guess what else you’re paying for:
$570 million in 2024–25 for a budget support loan to Papua New Guinea (PNG) to address the PNG Government’s estimated 2024 budget shortfall, with associated repayments totalling $128 million within the forward estimates to 2028–29.
You’ll be shocked to learn that this is not a one-off and a figure of half to three-quarters of a billion dollars has been handed over - sorry, “loaned” - to PNG every year since at least covid. That’s the price of regional security and not having a brutal civil war on our doorstep.
What’s another $60 million? At least we get footy out of it. If the money is going begging anyway, you may as well pencil in a couple of easy dubs in 2028.
Meanwhile, in Perth, Coach Mal Meninga reveals why Perth Bears have been unable to land a big-name signing. That was written by Dean Ritchie so I actually didn’t read it to find out the why. Adrian Proszenko’s piece, ‘It disappoints me’: Meninga breaks silence on Bears exit rumours, didn’t offer anything you wouldn’t have been able to guess at, other than there’s some friction in the Bears boardroom, which is downstream of the NRL’s captain’s picks and micromanagement, Meninga reluctance to move to Perth to do his million dollar a year job and hyperbole of the usual travails of getting a new franchise off the ground.
On one hand, “A crunch meeting between Perth Bears powerbrokers and NRL supremo Peter V’landys has reportedly handed the new franchise a boost in their bid to recruit big-name stars,” and on the other, “NRL clubs are set to demand compensation if the Perth Bears are granted salary cap relief to bolster their efforts to build a competitive roster before their 2027 entry into the competition.”
As you may gather from my tone, I am less interested in the merits (incoherent as they are) of these arguments, which is primarily clubland types panicking and hyperventilating to the media, than the timing.
As we know from the secrecy around Payne Haas’ defection to South Sydney, the reporters have very little to offer if it isn’t fed to them. The nature of these tracts then suggests discontent somewhere in the machine. It doesn't take a genius to guess that it's rooted in existing clubs not being happy the new clubs will be given any advantages.
The time to complain about these franchises was before the clubs voted to admit them to the NRL. But then the existing clubs wouldn’t have gotten their money. What were they supposed to do? Quite the dilemma.
Re: QRL CEO position
Dear Mr Canavan and board members,
With the resignation of Ben Ikin from the position of Chief Executive Officer of the Queensland Rugby League, I am writing to you to express my interest in the soon-to-be vacant position.
After two decades as a professional engineer and nearly a decade of writing about rugby league, I have no proven skills or experience that would make me a suitable c-suite executive. I was recently turned down for a very similar role to the one I currently occupy at a more prestigious institution because I was an insufficiently impressive candidate. It’s fine. I didn’t even want the job.
I do not understand marketing. I have no idea why payroll has to be so complicated. Accounting and balance sheets? Dunno. Let the lawyers run the legal team, I just want the lawsuits to go away. Governance is a buzzword and communications does not require any skill or expertise.
I have only ever managed small teams but as I move into middle age, I have a greater appreciation for the boomers trying to set completely arbitrary standards on millennials entering the workforce, even if those standards were stupid (the standard I set is obviously correct and always will be).
I have little-to-no interest in cultivating the kinds of relationships with the media that made Ikin a well-known and effective CEO. I have met a handful of rugby league figures, none of whom have wanted to meet with me a second time. Ditto podcasts.
I think the six again is a blight on the sport. I have never even played rugby league and did not follow the sport for some of the 2000s and most of the 2010s. I am reluctant to travel, especially to anywhere like Mount Isa. I could probably manage to approve the budget for a good Christmas party.
However, I am blessed with a gift for holding short, and to the point, meetings. I tend to equivocate so that I always sound like I was pretty close to being right. I like to frame all risks as a catch-22 with no solutions that don’t involve spending a lot of money. I find most KPIs to be a meaningless waste of time, so there’s one efficiency I can offer, along with a distaste for engaging in unforced small talk. I can operate Teams with a minimal of fuss.
I can think through a problem like few others and do have a genuine ability to plan strategically, although my main tactic would be to ensure that I am surrounded by people who understand the topic at hand better than I do and ask them questions like, “What do you think? Why?” and “Is this political?” and “If you were in my position, what would you do?”
Understand that I am writing to you on a public journal which demonstrates all of my failures of foresight. This newsletter also contains repeated, and frequently immature, criticism of Peter V’landys, Andrew Abdo, David Crisafulli, various NRL clubs, referees, broadcasters, Pete Badel, the Walker Brothers, future Dragons halfback Brodie Croft and other important stakeholders that would make my presence completely untenable. My only saving grace is that the audience for this newsletter is so small that it is not worth suing me for defamation.
Like many rugby league administrators, I would have no idea what I’m supposed to do or why I’m supposed to be doing it. I think this would make me the perfect candidate for the role. I look forward to hearing from you to discuss the remuneration package. I will not work weekends.
Yours sincerely,
Liam Callaghan
Around the grounds
Dolphins 44 defeated Bulldogs 12. This was not a polished performance from the Dolphins and I think it’s pretty clear now that the Bulldogs are a bad team (boy, that was a season and a half), so let’s not get too excited about this. However, the Phins have won two after losing four in a row, so the team is at least pointing in the right direction and showing signs of recapturing the things that have worked well for them in the past. While they are unlikely to become world beaters, Redcliffe might find enough to beat the bad teams on the way to 13 wins. Jonathan Sua: very bad.
Roosters 28 defeated Titans 12. The classic Vlandoball game. While it was more decided on skill than referee beneficence, the inflection point of the game, where it ran away to an inevitable conclusion, came around 25-30 minutes in the game. After that, Gold Coast may as well not have been on the field. The decision to award the Roosters their first try was horrendous and no one will care because it was against the Titans in the 6pm game. Olly Pascoe didn’t embarrass himself and does Zane Harrison have something? Quick, pile all the possible pressure on.
Eels 33 defeated Cowboys 30. Eighteen errors. And I spent a bunch of time in the first half writing up how good the Cowboys have been for the next Bovine Bulletin. First sentence: “At the risk of setting myself up for even more failure”. Referees had a blinder, as we’ve come to expect, inventing pushing penalties and enforcing a pointless shot at goal after golden point had been decided. Losing Tom Dearden is not ideal for Queensland, north or otherwise.
Knights 44 defeated Dragons 10. I guess I hate myself then. Just adding a note that it’s been 60 years since a top flight club team went winless (1966 Roosters, 0-18). Those Roosters were the first for 20 years in any league. You know, just in case it comes up.
Sea Eagles 32 defeated Broncos 4. Jake Trbojevic looks like he's wearing a bubble wrap condom on his head. I don’t know whose pleasure that is for but it ain’t mine. He should be suspended for a few weeks for bringing the game into disrepute. The only upshot of this game is every win for Foran's Manly is another embarrassing loss for the legacy of Seibold, and everyone who pumped his tyres to get the Sea Eagles job. Looks like Foran is Jeff Saturday if it turned out Saturday was Alex Ferguson.
Clydesdales 28 defeated Tweed 24. The Walker Brothers, who coach the team I told everyone to stop tipping last week, won a game before the Dragons.
Cutters 26 defeated Hunters 24. If you were watching Storm-Tigers instead of this, you don’t know ball. The Hunters began the game up 12-0 after ten minutes. The Cutters levelled at 14-14 by half time. No one could make a conversion and the game hinged on several, frankly insane, plays. The Pietzner try (see below). The Bawase try. Rivett kicking Lama in the face. Brilliant stuff. That’s why we watch Cup. Impressed with the Cowboys’ Mason Kira in the red zone.
Panthers 30 defeated Raiders 18. I had this on but between kids and being the end of the weekend, didn't get to watch it so intently that I could provide my usual searing insight. I did tune in at times to hear Andrew Voss desperately try to sell us that the first half was sufficient evidence that rugby league is not broken. Buddy, they pay you whether the game is good or not, you don't have to carry water for those losers. Rugby league rises above its dickhead administration time and time again. It succeeds despite, not because, of them. Dipshits like Malcolm Knox, who is a rugby union writer and therefore wouldn't know good rugby if it bit him on the ass, need not apply.
Intermission
What to do when the cutout pass doesn't work? Luke Pietzner of the Mackay Cutters gives it just the right tap with the left foot and it's try time.
Hotseat
☠️ Seibold
☠️ Flanagan
🔥🔥🔥 Ciraldo
🔥🔥 Payten
Kieran Foran has whatever the opposite of a flame emoji is. 🧊? ❄️? Whatever it is that Stuart, Bellamy and Bennett get by default. It’s been a very disappointing season so far for those of who demand blood.
Fortunately, the carousel is firing up early in the lower grades:
The Brisbane Tigers can confirm that Head Coach James Lenihan will depart the club following this weekend’s Round 9 clash after accepting an opportunity to return to full-time professional coaching in the Super League.
He has been UNLEASHED at, or possibly on or by, Huddersfield. The most promising thing about this move is not the likelihood of Lenihan being able to turn around Huddersfield’s structural off-field issues, which are remote, but that the pipeline from QCup to Super League was not closed after Rohan Smith flopped at Leeds. The career trajectory for the ambitious coach is changing to something like: QCup head → Super League head → NRL assistant → NRL head coach. Super League isn’t just feeding players up, but coaches as well.
Upcoming slate
Obviously, all eyes will be on the biggest competitions of the weekend: round 4 of the NRLQ premiership and also maybe women’s Origin. The second Origin does not seem to be attracting the kind of buildup that it has in the past, being swamped by Fox going all out on their promo for Magic Round, and so I wonder if this says Something About Women’s Sport, or if its just my imagination? For the record, I am tipping Queensland 13+.
Rabbitohs vs Dolphins, NRLM, Friday 8pm, Magic Round
To paraphrase one Dolphins fan, the loser of this game will be outed as a pack of frauds. My money is on the Rabbitohs to get it done and a Fraud Alert will be issued for the Dolphins post-game. Despite a baffling surge in some stats backing the Dolphins in as one of the middle of the table teams, Souths are clearly in the upper echelon. Redcliffe may have forgotten how to play in front of a big crowd. Tip: Rabbitohs
Hunters vs Magpies, QCup, Sunday 3.30pm, Port Moresby
While you’re waiting for the Broncos game and instead of the interminable dreck of Titans-Knights, can I interest you in the local PNG commentary team that does the Hunters game? They get piped in on Hunters home games on Qplus, which is always a delight, and will be the only game with some degree of production in this split round. One expects Souths Logan is the higher quality of the two but there is considerable variability in performance, so the result hangs in the balance and may well take several severe changes in direction during the game. Anthony Milford is killing it at this level. Tip: Magpies
Warriors vs Broncos, NRLM, Sunday 4pm, Magic Round
One of the worst experiences I’ve had at a Broncos home game, excluding the ones against the Storm, was getting pantsed by the Warriors. As is well understood, there is a large Kiwi contingent in the Southeast. They will be out in force for this one. Ironically, given the other two games have precisely zero draw, the stadium might not be big enough for the Sunday slate. Anyway, Adam Reynolds returns so that might make the Broncos slightly more functional but perhaps not functional enough to carry the second string backs and J. Hunt starting. Tip: Warriors
For your consideration, I offer a five point plan for my administration
Elimination of all bye points from rugby league.
Removal of all salary caps as un-Australian.
Establish statewide programs in southern Logan/northern Gold Coast, Wide Bay, Darwin, Noumea and Guangzhou.
Demolish Davies Park and secure the construction of a new 25,000 seat stadium with working toilets on the site on the basis that I will personally flip South Brisbane to the LNP.
Recognition of Palestine, West Papua and Taiwan by the QRL.
If that doesn't sell you on this publication, then check out these new advanced metrics (this is a first draft - feedback welcome) in The Almanac.
These are only available to paid subscribers, so you may want to consider an upgrade to a paid subscription. Paid subscribers get full access to the club newsletters, The Almanac and The Dataset™, and commenting privileges.
If you don’t want Substack clipping your ticket or to commit to an ongoing subscription, Ko-Fi is also available for one-off tips.
Thank you to Rob for becoming a paid subscriber last week. Welcome to the Rooner Gang.
Nickelware
Read this
Campo - Ahead of his record game for North Queensland, Jason Taumalolo is still forging new legends
Eye Test - Justin Holbrook unlocked the attacking potential of the Newcastle Knights
Gavin Willacy - The new 14-team Super League is working. Why not add London too?
The Chronicle - Outback rugby league roars back to life uniting devastated towns
The Sportress - Six, Again: Excitement and Administration
Rugby League Writers - Knights Look The Goods, Four From 50 & Storm Win
Storm Machine - Game 751 – S29E10 Review
Ant’s Slant - Schuster’s Redemption Pitch - Who’s Buying It?
Stuckness - The Millennial Song (can’t argue if I’m honest, even though Black Fingernails, Red Wine, a song I thoroughly hate, was my preferred, more localised answer)
Notes
Bucking the trend and refusing to believe in any aspect of the Newcastle Knights. Sorry, not happening. Now did Ponga, Best, Marzhew and Young max out at 250 on Z and combined for 0.75 WARG? Yes, but we all know statistics are flawed. (Dane Gagai looks a bit out of place on the spreadsheet)
We’ll talk more about men’s Origin after the lineup is announced but I am kind of enjoying the swirling together of Billy’s hare-brained selection scheme, Queensland’s relative depth at most positions except halfback and the tension that we can’t possibly fuck this up while Daley is on the other side (but could we?). Sam Walker is already on the outs. Should they unleash Munster with the 7 jersey?
Townsville Blackhawks have won the Mal Meninga Cup (U19) for the first time since 2016, defeating Wynnum, 21-20, with a last minute field goal. Taj Lateo kicked the winner after earlier going through the ad hoarding chasing a grubber. Townsville lost three straight MMC finals from 2021 to 2023.
Kalifa Faifai Loa is playing for Atherton and Townsville Brothers in the same weekend
Pauline Piliae-Rasabale recommitting to the Titans for the 2026 season
North Wales Crusaders update (it’s not good)
$1.5b Trump Tower deal on Gold Coast scrapped, developer says. What? No way. “Let’s just say that with the Iran war and everything else, the Trump brand was increasingly toxic in Australia,” he said. “Some time ago we knew it was time to part company.” Uh-huh.
These election results don’t mean tacking left or right, but delivering for the whole country. UK Labour got smashed in local elections over the weekend, turning traditional red areas into the light blue of Reform. Some of that is the UK’s criminal first past the post system and it’s only local elections but think we can say Workington Man is, at best, resting.
In other seemingly irrelevant elections that double as a harbinger of doom, Farrer By-election post-mortem – Where to now for the Coalition?
Some content
Or, for that matter, expertise in any domain.
Which, yes, is wealthy but not to the same degree.