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Malignant or negligent
Sigh, righto. Here is a brief run through of the game 2 Maroons changes:
Spine: Cherry-Evans, who had the (relatively speaking) best performance in the spine behind a thoroughly beaten pack, has been dropped. Dearden, despite not showing the full versatility required or presumably expected of him, now has the 7 jersey. Munster gets the captaincy (this is the only explicable change, if you accept that DCE isn’t in the team). Grant and Ponga get a pass for some reason. I would’ve thought Grant was in line for a caning or something, pour encourager les autres if nothing else.
Second row: Nanai played better than Cotter but gets benched. Cotter gets a criticism-free run to continue being extremely ineffective out of position. Capewell, who even if he is in form (average Z score of 61 in 2025 against a career average of 80), is not up to this but will nonetheless join Cotter. Fermor, who got bugger all minutes, is gone entirely. Finfeuaiki or others apparently need not apply.
Middle: Carrigan dropped to the bench would be fine if his replacement at lock, Loiero, could offer something over Carrigan’s empty calorie stat padding but he does not. Fotuaika keeps his place despite being out of form and showing nothing special in the Origin arena. No Corey Horsburgh unless numerous misfortunes befall the Maroons. Another impact-free game expected from Collins.
Backs: Holmes is still here but swaps places with Tabuai-Fidow, despite the latter never in a million years being a yardage guy and the team desperately needing a yardage guy. Holmes scored 100% of the Dragons’ points on the weekend, so I guess Billy just checked the box score? Toia did OK but is the least of the problems in his platoon, let alone the full lineup. Mam gets a cheque for turning up.
The quantity of the changes is not terribly surprising, as Slater got his ass beat in game 1 and last year’s series. The nature of the changes is completely baffling. There is no consistent rationale here. These changes do not make the team better and in fact, undermines its few strengths to reinforce its weaknesses. This is malpractice. I spent ten minutes on a half-joking team last week and got a better lineup than this. Here are a few hypotheses to explain Slater’s behaviour:
Subconsciously, he no longer wants this job but can’t bring himself to resign because that would be decidedly un-Queensland, so he needs to get fired.
He’s gone insane from having a podcast.
He is the thickest hayseed representing this state in a national forum since the ill-fated Joh for PM campaign in 1987.
Please don’t try to make sense of it. The results will be predictable. The Queensland spirit helps those who help themselves, so even if this team somehow pulls off the heist of the century in Perth, they will not win a second Origin game.
Already terrible at proffering explanations for his behaviour, Slater will not be able to mumble his way out of this.
I believe the Blues also have a team of some sort. Good for them.
Tip: Queensland 13+
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I did end up buying a new laptop - it’s a very boring Dell, so no pic - so thank you to all who took up paid subscriptions.
NEW BRONCOS LOGO
So reports the Courier Mail, as their style guide valiantly refuses to acknowledge the existence of the thesaurus. You can see the IP Australia filing from June 4 here.
The current Broncos logo was filed for in 2004 (then with colour in 2006), so it’s been about two decades since the club had a change to its intellectual property. I never had any particular love or disdain for the current badge but I did think the original steaming Bronco had a bit more personality to it, as I have a mild flashback to the chairlift at the early 90s Ekka for some reason.
It’s not surprising then that the branding is getting updated. Surely the new badge will be intimidating, strong and brave, a tour de force of vision and innovation, representative of the people and club of Brisbane, a refresh that will carry us to the Olympiad future.
Ah… OK, look, it’s been made very clear to me in my day job by numerous architects and interior designers that I have no aptitude for aesthetics, so you can take the following with a pinch of salt. But! That looks like a French apparel range that you’ve never heard of but sells 45% of all tracksuits in Romania. That’s an Italian tyre brand that Pirelli uses to target the economy segment and gets fitted standard on all car rentals at Ciampino. That’s a Chinese car battery maker trying to hide the fact that the same factory makes sex toys and high end CNC machines.
The Brisbane Broncos though? Perhaps not so much.
Despite the extreme first-time-I-have-opened-Adobe-Illustrator-to-use-image-trace vibes this draft gives off, the incipient rebrand may explain why the ARLC still holds the existing Broncos IP, as the ARLC does for all the heritage rugby league marques that could be potentially turned into throwback jerseys in another decade or two. That does not seem to be tied to perpetual club licencing, as the clubs now have 10 year extensions rather than 99 year endowments, it’s just another favour PVL did for the clubs. Fortuitously, it also lays some groundwork for Super League 2.0.
Around the grounds
Storm 38 defeated Cowboys 14. Let’s hear from the fans:
Even when the Cowboys cut the margin to 10 points with over 25 minutes to play, it never felt like they were going to do enough to trouble Melbourne. Rugby league is a funny game sometimes when it messes with your perception of events.
More to come in the next Bovine Bulletin.
Dolphins 56 defeated Dragons 6. Half time was centred around Queensland Day, the government having slipped the Dolphins $10k for the pleasure of putting a few small logos up around the place. After commencing with a Powderfinger song, at which I almost lost it, our new premier fired a t-shirt cannon with the pressure cranked right up, sending t-shirts further than I’ve ever seen before. Crisafulli claimed to be a Cowboys fan, despite being a MLA for a Gold Coast electorate and physically standing at a Dolphins game, so take note of that for 2029, as if the LNP’s policy of locking people up and not proceeding with public transport projects wasn’t sufficient.
The Dolphins set a bunch of personal bests, breaking the personal bests set two weeks ago, and the Dragons pooped their pants in front of a relatively small crowd for Suncorp Stadium. Redcliffe’s forwards played with an intensity and competence that might not be sustainable for the remainder of the season but the Red Fish have now scored the third most points in the league, behind only the Raiders and the Storm, which is definitely something. I greatly enjoyed Jack Bostock taking the entire proceedings personally for some reason (he’s from Illawarra, so maybe just never approved of the merger).
Broncos 44 defeated Titans 14. It wasn’t quite the aneurysm bowl I’d expected. After losing the last three straight to the Titans, and coming into the game in horrific form, the Broncos blew off the cobwebs and had this won in 20 minutes flat, thanks mostly to the spacetime warping gravity and lightspeed of Reece Walsh.
It is the Broncos’ biggest win over the Titans since 2018. That’s seven goddamn years without a 30+ point win over what has been a completely inconsequential franchise. In fact, in that time, Gold Coast were 7-5 over Brisbane. Why the Titans make this their grand final, and why they fell so far short this time, are questions only Des Hasler and his team can answer. More to come in the next Pony Picayune.
Blackhawks 34 defeated Wynnum 24. The scoreline would give you the impression this was close but no, not really, except for a bit at the end. It was 26-4 to the visitors shortly after the commencement of the second half. Wynnum scored some consolation tries in an extended garbage time but never really found the pace or the strength to go with Townsville for the full 80. Dudley Dotoi had an absolute field day for the Hawks. Selwyn Cobbo struggled mightily to make metres or break tackles for a guy who could have reasonably expected to play for Queensland at the start of the year but then, did basically nothing with his 2025. That is to say Cobbo would be one of the best fullbacks in Cup but that’s such a low bar for someone of his stature. The Seagulls hamstrung themselves with a new halves combo, in the absence of Madden, but still plenty to like about both teams.
Intermission
That's Dudley Dotoi blasting past Ronald Philitoga and then taking on and burning Selwyn Cobbo for the corner.
Philitoga got a measure of revenge.
I didn't even have room for Kalifa Faifai-Loa scoring the match sealing try on a 80 metre intercept to rack up his 100th try in Cup while being approximately my age.
The most magical time of year
June 6 is Queensland Day, which was last Friday. It commemorates the Separation of Queensland in 1859, a pivotal moment in the history of this state, given this state did not exist in any meaningful sense prior. Despite all of this (gestures at newsletter), it is not a date I keep in mind, although I have some recollection of the government putting some effort into the 150th anniversary celebrations in 2009.
On Friday night, the Dolphins appropriately marked the occasion, smashing the Dragons, nearly 201 years since John Oxley alighted at Milton (not North Quay, as the monument would have you believe) which eventually led to the founding of the city of Edenglassie in 1825 (later renamed for Sir Thomas Brisbane and ironically, following the removal of the Moreton Bay settlement from its original situation in Redcliffe) and Separation 34 years later.
Here is a selection of other rugby league results from Queensland Day:
1931: NSW 39 defeat Queensland 17
1936: Brisbane 31 defeat Ipswich 15 (Bulimba Cup)
1993: Brisbane 36 defeat Western Suburbs 16, and Balmain 12 defeat Gold Coast 6
1998: Illawarra 32 defeat Gold Coast 10, and Cowboys 40 defeat Western Suburbs 10
2004: Cronulla 30 defeat Brisbane 22
2008 St George Illawarra 28 defeat Brisbane 10
2009: North Queensland 46 defeat South Sydney 12
2010: Canberra 28 defeat Gold Coast 24, Brisbane 22 defeat Manly 6
2014: Parramatta 18 defeat North Queensland 16
2018: NSW 22 defeat Queensland 10
2020: Cronulla 26 defeat North Queensland 16
2024: Queensland (W) 11 defeat NSW 10
Both the Broncos and Cowboys are 2-2 on June 6 while Gold Coast have pathetically never won anything on Queensland Day, despite having multiple teams have a crack at it. That’s not very Queensland.
Still, taking together last year’s women’s Origin result and this year’s thumping of the Dragons, maybe we’re finally making something of this. June 6 is a Saturday in 2026, so we’ll see what the geniuses at NRL HQ serve up (announce of SEQ4 with an all Queensland double header at Suncorp, please).
Sunshine State-wide
We’re now at a pivotal point in the Queensland statewide season. The Queensland Cup has enough material that we know who’s good and who’s not and can guess at some of the reasons why.
Townsville and Norths lead the competition with a winning percentage north of .900 and only one loss each (the Hawks to the Falcs in round 8, the Devs to the Hunters in round 9), sitting pretty as premiership favourites. Norths thrive on a balanced roster with a subtle competence. The Blackhawks have a lot of guys, glued together under Campese’s leadership. There’s a flurry of teams making up the finals places, including the omnipresent Bears in third, a revitalised Wynnum-Manly in fourth, the Jets having a great season in fifth, a fun Hunters side in sixth and the Dolphins and Falcons rounding out the top eight.
Of the teams outside looking in, I don’t have a lot of faith in anyone other than the Pride (record belies their quality) or the Magpies (results too inconsistent but could string a run together) changing the order, but they are only a win or two behind. At the bottom, the Clysdesdales seem to have at least closed the gap to the bottom of the table and aren’t floating adrift. The Capras have returned to historical form. Dave Penna would get a five fire emoji hot seat rating for this Tweed team. The Cutters and Tigers are thereabouts and will need some serious luck to turn for them to rise up.
The BMD premiership gets underway this weekend. Starting later in the year and without any NRLW players, the BMD is going to take on a completely different feel from years past. There are some familiar faces returning and we should get a much better idea of whomst is up and coming in the women’s game. The field expands to twelve, with the addition of the Northern Pride and Ipswich Jets to the returning ten franchises from last year’s spectacular competition. Redcliffe and Townsville will round out the competition next season. The regular season will run for 11 weeks, which is starting to feel less like a sprint and more like a proper test of team endurance.
I don’t have a lot of insight to offer about the competition or rosters, other than I expect the Pride to be better than a brand new team might ordinarily be, especially if the Cowboys continue to focus on Cairns as their base for the NRLW program, and the Falcons will likely see some benefit from a feeder relationship with the Broncos. I also have the Tigers down as big improvers, after spending a few seasons putting in place structures that aren’t totally reliant on NRLW players.
The second round of the all-important NRLQ series is in the books. The QRL are now broadcasting games on Qplus. I tried to watch the Broncos-Titans game but it wouldn’t load and I found the complete silence of watching the Dolphins-Cowboys stream to be a bit sterile. Nonetheless, the Broncos got off the mark beating the Titans in Toowoomba, while the Dolphins had no trouble from the Cowboys in Townsville to continue their unbeaten start to the season.
In Bundaberg at Salters Oval, Toowoomba won the women's competition and Sunshine Coast won the men's competition in the Central division's 47th Battalion.
Upcoming Slate
I’m tired of making jokes about sludge, even if I could have had fun with the NRL slate this week, so we’re resuming normal programming from this week. Also, my tipping rate has improved to almost a coin flip.
Tigers versus Pride, Saturday 12.40pm, Langlands
I think I could talk myself into watching any of the first round QRLW match-ups. There’s a little something to recommend them all. Despite the three stars, I picked the Tigers because I’m fascinated to see if they can turn their success in the youth women’s categories in 2024 and 2025 into success at the senior level. The Tigers have yet to even make the finals in this competition, so that sets a bar. The Pride are brand new but boast a few players on the fringes or formerly of the Cowboys’ women’s program. Tip: Pride
Cowboys versus Dolphins, Saturday 7.35pm, QCB Stadium
The disrespect shown by the NRL to schedule Queensland's 15th most intense rivalry combination in the Origin period is completely galling, especially when this should have been pretty good on paper. You wouldn't have thought that after four weeks but they didn't know that preseason. Anyway, Jake Averillo to fullback in this week's random position change-up from Kristian Woolf and that should secure the Dolphins approximately 400 points. The Phins won't even notice Tabuai-Fidow’s or Plath's absence. The Cowboys lose a lot of power to Origin, which makes no sense but here we are. Tip: Dolphins
Hunters versus Falcons, Sunday 3pm, Oilsearch NFS
If you want to see a fight this weekend, I think this might be your best bet. Sunshine Coast got their revenge for last year’s psiteful preliminary final in round 2 remains to be seen. Earlier in the year, the Falcs muscled up and trounced the Hunters. PNG have found better form since then, playing wide and fast rather than direct down the field, so that may reduce tensions. On the other, it’s going to be 29 degrees and humid as shit. Put that on top of a long flight and Thallon Peters is going to try and decapitate someone. Tip: Hunters
(Tips 19 / 40 in 2025; 48 / 92 in 2024)
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Notes
Can't help but notice Kaiden Lahrs, son of Tom Learoyd-Lahrs, playing for the Cowboys after spending the season so far at the Blackhawks. Do we have peace in Townsville at last?
Phins: Plath knee injury takes Dolphins' pain to the max. Still not confirmed by the club but Gilbert and Saifiti are not returning this year. Not convinced that will matter, considering how much better the team has gotten in their absence.
Tans: JDG to call GCT home for two more seasons. But why? Clubs simply do not need this many fullback options. Kurtis Morrin joins for two and Natasha Penitani for three.
The star footballer, his manager and the explosive claims engulfing their academy. No one in the NRL sphere of the media seems to want to touch this with a ten foot pole but I have to say that irrespective of the outcome of any mediation or court action, my opinion of Sam Ayoub will remain as is (see also: TC Robati’s court appearance).
Nickelware
The Titans’ defence of the Queensland pennant is in real trouble now. The best they can hope for would be a 3-3 tie and hope their pathetic points difference is repaired along the way. We should see more movement with the Phins-Cowboys the next cab off the rank and second half of the derby slate in the run to the season’s end.
Some good content
Well, good is a strong word.