May 2025

Deeply unserious

Welcome to Bovine Bulletin, a monthly newsletter about the North Queensland Cowboys.

Prelude

Let’s just take a deep breath before we start and listen to some music.

You don’t want a lot of context as to when that song was originally released or think too much about the lyrics, just enjoy the silky smooth vocals, a simple melody and the soothing sound effects. Alright, let’s go.

Deeply Unserious, Part I

Last time, after spending too much time praising the Cowboys for their successful April, I left some questions marks over the defence behind the paywall. The Cowboys’ defence failed them in May. What I think is interesting are the ways that happened.

Unlike in round 1, Manly didn't find endless joy picking at the seams where the edge forwards were standing. Even though the game was competitive until late, Manly won the battle in the middle of field and despite comparable possession, completions and yardage, the Cowboys couldn't match them. Manly’s tries came from: an intercept; winning the aerial battle on a kick to the corner; a compressed defensive line on the right couldn’t slide fast enough to prevent an overlap on the left; a try that should have been called back but otherwise, Ben Trbojevic bullshit.

It was not particularly impressive stuff from the Sea Eagles but they got the dub. Despite not being all that competitive in the grand scheme, Manly have had the Cowboys’ measure twice now, with a similar underlying strategy presenting in two noticeably different ways. This should be alarming, even if the advantage is more to be found in the coach’s box than on the field. That Manly is coached by Anthony Seibold should add another siren emoji of concern.

In round 13, the Tigers, still one of the worst teams in the league, managed to dig deep for 20 minutes, despite the Cowboys being miles ahead on the scoreboard, and put the game into its highest gear, finding a pace that the Cowboys couldn't match until the clock got the better of Wests. The score was 32-6 at the 60th minute and finished 32-28 at full time.

Or at least that’s how it seemed live. On a rewatch, every set the Tigers scored on, the Cowboys invited them in. The Tigers start this phase by regathering a short kickoff. Later, Heath Mason makes a break through a line that is lazily guarded or too fatigued or both. There are errors and penalties and set restarts awarded against the Cowboys at 61’, 62’, 64’, 66’, 72’ and 73’. By contrast, the Tigers are not perfect, and finish the match with a comparable completion rate, but are far superior in this phase of the match.

Worse, the left side defence - somewhere between Laybutt, Dearden and Nanai, although they never seem to be in quite the same order - always seems to crack at a pivotal moment in the play

It wasn’t wholly that side that fell apart but it was the majority. On the other wing, Charlie Staines manages one key play, involving several kicks and fortunately forcing the ball out off Drinkwater, and to be the recipient and beneficiary of an easily constructed overlap of a flustered Cowboys’ defensive line.

North Queensland weathered the blows, invited more and waited for time to expire. A winning strategy as it turns out, but not one that will overcome many teams or overwhelm many fans. For teams who can bring more than 20 minutes of thunder and lightning and eat opposition errors for breakfast, this exposes many weaknesses: an inability to lift late in the game, a specific seam that can be picked at by Starford To’a (never mind Olakau’atu), a lack of physical and mental edge to overwhelm.

The Storm comprehensively tore the Cowboys apart. For the Storm’s second try, the Cows were at a standing start on the goal line.

There’s a gap between McLean and Robson, where the referee is standing. Both Laybutt and Dearden are at marker. That’s enough of a look for someone with the vision of Grant, who appears to be sizing up this exact opportunity in the screen cap, and the footspeed of Hughes to take the chance.

There are enough bodies to still have stopped the try. Robson should have hung wider to cover Hughes instead of trying to wrap up Grant, which forced McIntyre to come across and left Drinkwater as the last line of defence, which is never a great idea.

The third try was completely different but exposed the same fragility. The Storm line up in what I (mostly) jokingly call ‘6-4 diamond’, which is anything that looks vaguely threatening involving a large number of purple jerseys arranged in two parallel diagonal lines. It usually causes a pit in my stomach when my team is defending because I can see what’s coming next from my elevated position, even if they can’t.

Loiero peels off this play at the ruck and the ball swings from Grant to Hughes behind King as decoy, then to Papenhuyzen, who has a 4-on-3 and plenty of options to choose from.

He digs in, gets all of the Cowboys bar Laybutt to commit but fails to wrap up his arms (thanks Nanai) before finding the offload inside back to Hughes, who zips over the line.

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After the paywall, we're continuing with our analysis of the Cowboys’ deficiencies, looking ahead to the next month and rewinding to 2007.

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