The sarcastic Gutherino
Dolphins and Titans win, Broncos lose, QCup catch-up, Zachariah Miles, Jordan Lipp, Phil Sami and Brendan Piakura
Around the grounds
Dolphins 36 defeated Rabbitohs 28. I assume Mick Ennis thinks that if he says Redcliffe often enough, we'll believe he’s actually there or, failing that, could point to south-east Queensland on a map. I am starting to see why the Bulldogs didn't fight too hard for Averillo. The Dolphins can’t defend, as per last season, and some of that can be attributed to injuries, but at least they can score enough points to get home. For the Phinscurious neutrals, that is very appealing. We can take that up a notch when Tabuai-Fidow comes back.
We didn’t talk about the Dolphins’ prospects last week because they were on bye but Redcliffe are 9-7 with a very lean run home. There are five winnable games from eight (assuming the Storm, Panthers and Roosters are out of reach). They need four of them to go their way, one of which might be an inaugural win in Conflict on Caxton, which I am sorely tempted to attend in Rob Lowe mode.
But that is a big ask for a team short on forwards and missing their starting rake.
Titans 24 defeated Eels 16. It's great that any time David Fifita does something, almost anything, Billy Slater gets some credit for it having inspired Fifita to do better by setting a standard. That is, at least according to some of the dumbest people paid to supposedly watch the sport. It’s also great Fifita got a HIA in a meaningless club game instead of being in camp.
It was a solid enough win for the Titans. Not pretty, not perfect but promising, as I am wont to say. Wasting an interchange on fullbacks is the kind of thing you can do when you’re not contending; you’ll want that interchange back when it matters. The Titans can figure a few things out in the last eight games (unless they can win seven of them, they won’t make the finals) and set themselves up for what might come in 2025 with Tino’s return. I like Jayden Campbell more and more with every game I watch. Starting to think fitting Brimson in the side won’t be a problem if he’s never actually available between injury and suspension.
Dragons 30 defeated Broncos 26. Boy, I am watching a lot first halves and not a lot of second halves this year. The first half was a terrible performance from a bad team that barely has anyone available worth a damn and of those that are available, they are completely bereft of confidence. The Broncos barely had the ball because every Dragons possession came with a penalty as a little gift from Brisbane and an invitation to help themselves to a try. Not smart.
It’s time to look to 2025, get the injured back to form, hope there's a bit of roster movement around the fringes and turn the luck around. Let’s just not acknowledge that the Titans have the same number of competition points right now.
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QCup catch-up with five rounds left
The Pride (13-3) looked imperious for the first 20 and last 15 against the Tigers but got tripped up by a team playing up to the them. Probably not too concerning overall and hummed along well when they had to and stuck to Their Processes. Robert Derby was standing in touch to receive a pass, suggesting a bit to work on there. Thought Jake Clifford and Lachlan West had a lot more to say in attack than Thomas Duffy and I’m presuming that Railway Estate goes for a Clifford/Dearden halves ticket in ‘25 with Duffy being a longer term prospect.
There is no one enjoying their football more right now than Jack Ahearn running around for the Devils (11-4). Norths were threatened through the middle by Redcliffe but got around them through the edges and down the short side to take control of this latest iteration of Duelling Dolphins Affiliates. Plenty of points to score, especially from a young prospect with a big future, Tesi Niu - one to keep an eye on. As NECO teams seem to, the Devs are lacking some clinicality, unable to keep the boot on the throat for the full 80.
Is this the Bears (10-5-1) in a down year by their standards or are we just waiting for a late push? An 18-all draw with lowly Townsville last week and back-to-back losses to the Pride and Tigers in June are not the hallmarks of the all-conquering Burleigh we’ve come to expect. There’s perhaps a joke about the stink of Broncos infecting the place but that would only work if Brisbane had replaced any team other than Gold Coast. Let’s put a pin in this and come back to it.
The Dolphins (10-6) are big and mean and will hit you in the face a bunch. Give them a few shots in the red zone and Redcliffe can put up points. Then again, the Clydesdales only win of the season came against the Phins and other losses include the Falcons, Capras and Blackhawks. A bit weird if I may say so. I’m not prepared to lay it at the feet of one player but things have looked up since John Fineanganofo turned up? Valynce Te Whare isn’t doing himself many favours for a return to the NRL.
Wynnum (8-6-1) had a bye but have looked dreadfully uninsipired on both sides of the ball for weeks now. There are no easy games left on the schedule, so barring a miracle turnaround, I am expecting the Gulls to disappear from view.
The Falcons (9-6) played a tense nil-all game against the Cutters until they cracked the dam and then dominated the ruck to fire off quick play the ball after quick play the ball until the game was in hand. Almost pure uncut North East Offensive football. That win came with only Chris Lewis from the Storm in the lineup; the rest is pure Sunshine Coast. Want more please.
Are we going to start to consider the Hunters (9-6) for finals this year? They’ve worked their way up into the top eight after ripping off four straight wins. They’ve been generally imposing at home but have picked up a few dubs on the road to complement. A soft run home with the Tigers, Dales and Tweed, although their games against Sunny Coast and Redcliffe could be winnable. Watch this space.
The Capras (7-7-2) haven’t got a sensible throughline of their season. The results are all over the shop. Getting to a preliminary final again seems a way off but their last wooden spoon was only in 2021, so a third finals appearance in three years would still be welcome in Rockhampton and a third finals win would be yet another feather in Lionel Harbin’s cap. He is mostly working with the same roster as last year but will be doing well to bat .500 this year and then come what may in the crapshoot of the post-season.
What to do with the Blackhawks (8-8-1)? They have no right to be as competitive as they are but under Terry Campese, they seem to believe in themselves and their mission. Putting the Cowboys blundering of last year behind them, the Choppers have a good mix of committed veterans (Laybutt, Tamou, Faifai-Loa) and some up-and-comers, especially Dudley Dotoi who has caught my eye every time. Getting blanked in the Savannah Soiree is not a good look and Townsville aren’t going to win the premiership but they’ve got three entirely winnable games left on the schedule. Making finals would be a huge win for Kirwan.
After starting 4-2 through the end of April, the Cutters (7-9) have gone 3-7 and two of those wins came against the Jets and Tweed Heads. The Cuts were ironically gashed for three tries in quick succession at the end of the first half against the Falcs, which ended up being the difference but seemed game otherwise. Need to snatch a win against Redcliffe or Norths and bank their two gimmes to have a hope of qualifying for the post-season.
Like their NRL affiliate, the Magpies (7-9) are struggling to put together a consistent season. Injury and promotions to the Broncos have disrupted any cohesion that Souths Logan might have wanted to put together. On their day, they’re great but those days are infrequent.
The Tigers (5-9-1) have plenty of talent on the sidelines, some for more standard reasons (Jonah Pezet) than others (Treigh Stewart), and have shown themselves to still be plucky fighters, taking a few key scalps through their premiership defence, but often they lack direction or impetus in attack.
Tweed (6-10) cannot defend and there is little to discuss unless they are going to play all of their games at C-Bus Super from now on. If there was a hot seat, I think Dave Penna would be on it.
The Jets (3-12) have at least kicked clear of Western and aren’t going to run winless again this year. Something to build on for next year.
The Clydesdales (1-14) are playing to the form of a new club trying to find their feet at the next level up without any NRL support. Western are losing at a rate of roughly 22 points per game, nearly double that of the next worst team in the league. Lots of work still to do.
Intermission
This right here is why we watch the games. A recovered kick from a bad bat back into a netball pass for a chip and chase try? This basically happens every week in the world’s greatest sporting competition.
I mentioned Jordan Lipp’s (apparently) chronic lack of ball security a few weeks ago but if you watch his acceleration in support before he gets the ball, you’ll see why he’s in the Cup. Would I mind seeing him test that speed in the NRL? Hmm.
Boy, you'd hate to have a second rower that has that kind of athleticism and strength to set up tries in Origin. What a lazy showpony. I also like the sarcastic Gutherino. Phil Sami, we salute you.
This courtesy of a NRL dot com highlight entitled “Jack de Belin eats an entire plate of shit”. Hahahahahahaha.
Upcoming Slate
It’s a short slate this week with the men’s Origin decider tonight and the QCup mostly on bye before Country Week. The NRLW and the Olympics fire up next weekend so I’m considering a short break to watch Paris 2024 and then swanning back in, refreshed (relatively speaking) to get through the remaining (dregs of the NRLM) season. Maybe some real news will drop and I’ll be pulled back to the keyboard. We’ll see.
NRLM - Knights vs Broncos in Newcastle, Saturday 5.30pm
The Broncos are probably due a win to put some misguided faith back into the hearts of their fans and the Knights are weak enough deliver it. We’ve seen this Broncos movie before, most recently in 2022 but also with shades of 2020, in which we expected largely this roster to pull themselves up out of the ditch and get themselves back into some semblance of competitiveness but they just never get it done. Forgive me if I don’t get my hopes up that the vibes guy might do something about the vibes. Not really convinced a surprise Adam Renyolds magically fixes all the problems either. Tip: Broncos
NRLM - Panthers vs Dolphins in Penrith, Sunday 2.00pm
It’d be less depressing watching actual dolphins drown in fishing nets. Tip: Panthers
QRLM - Falcons vs Hunters at Sunshine Coast, Sunday 2.10pm
I assume this will be on Qplus to watch. This rematch of the 2017 grand final should be relatively compelling for a non-feature game. It’s 6th vs 7th, both on 9-6 albeit with very different points differences, and not quite style mismatch with the Falcons running from the NECO playbook and the Hunters playing with a mix of strength, speed and scramble, but enough differentiation to test both sides’ mettle ahead of a potential run in September. Tip: Hunters
NRLM - Sea Eagles vs Titans in Manly, Sunday 4.10pm
The Hasler Bowl! Seibold mewled during the week that he didn’t want Manly fans booing Hasler on his return to the Asbestos Mine. He’s right, they should be booing Seibold instead. The Titans have gotten themselves in good shape, which is to say they are slightly below league average, instead of their usual well below average. Manly might be the biggest bunch of frauds in the league. I expect Gold Coast to hold their own here and it will be a cakewalk if Turbo’s hamstrings explode from playing more than 15 minutes of fullback. Tip: Titans
NRLM - Cowboys vs Bulldogs at QCB Stadium, Sunday 6.15pm
OK c’mon you gotta win this one, right? It’s at home. You’ve done OK with and without the Origin guys. Just carry some form through! Then again, scrolling through the line up gives you no confidence that North Queensland can deliver here but then how would that be any different from the other 17 games so far? Sam McIntyre versus Kurt Mann at lock. Great stuff. Tip: Bulldogs
(Tips 27 / 56)
Notes
Hall of Fame relaunched, 14th Immortal to be inducted. I thought about doing a whole section on this but I don’t really have any strong opinions about it. I don’t think the NRL or rugby league in general is capable of doing the sport’s history any justice, especially after they cocked it up in the rush to get Andrew Johns in the door, so this will likely be more of the same. Peter V’Landys will ensure it looks as cheap as possible. Kev wants Alf in. I don’t know if I care who does get the nod.
I don’t know why but this fact out of last Friday’s
tickled me:
The numbers though still indicate that to make a Grand Final appearance, a team should have their defence averaging at least five points per match lower than the league average. The outlier in the last few seasons being Parramatta in 2022 making the Grand Final with a very average defence, which was shown up by Penrith in the decider.
The doubts about this year’s Maroons are now so well publicised, I am tempted to upgrade Queensland 1-12 to Queensland 13+. Some Maroons fans are despondent that a victory would only reinforce Slater’s questionable decision making processes and see it continue into the future. I prefer to see a Queensland victory as a sign that, even with a metaphorical leg voluntarily lopped off, the Maroons simply cannot lose. If there was any psychological damage left to do to NSW, this would be it, but how many times have we been here before?
Ben Hunt's journey to reach Queensland's esteemed club of 20-game State of Origin legends
Not Queensland: “The idea has strong support at administrative level, with the belief that Great Britain touring Australia would create a significant buzz, greater than if England were touring.” It’s a day ending in y, so it must be time for someone to shuffle the deck chairs on international rugby league. I like how the UK game is slowly disappearing down the Vlandian rabbit hole. They’ll find out soon enough that it’s a dead end. Perhaps it’s worth highlighting that people aren’t that stupid to not realise that Great Britain is England in a different jumper and don’t think we’ve forgotten how badly that all went in 2019.
After the success of the chip in the footy for detecting forward passes, I believe the NRL has the technical capability to produce mechanical exoskeletons to protect referees from unwanted contact from players. Here's a mockup.
Booktopia went into voluntary administration before I could get my Tok Pisin dictionary :( although now I guess I need a Weststralian-English dictionary.
Brains and one of the grimmest headlines ever composed: Two women in Australia diagnosed with CTE after suffering decades of domestic violence, dozens of head injuries between them. It should go without saying but don’t do this to people. Slightly less grim? Study: Most concussions in younger children not related to sports and “Between one-third to over one-half of youth sport participants have indicated they did not tell someone in charge that they had concussion symptoms during play. That means they are at risk of further harm and longer recovery.”
Good content
Less good content
Kobe Hetherington outing himself as a Trump guy is not much of a surprise - it is in fact surprising there isn’t more of this (or maybe I just don’t go looking for it) - but it would be far more disappointing were he playing with something resembling his 2023 form.