Our patron saint of inexplicable decision making
But enough about David Littleproud
Welcome to The Maroon Observer, a weekly newsletter about rugby league, Queensland and rugby league in Queensland.
You are the U in Queensland
It’s probably for the best that I’ve had the better part of an exhausting week to process game 2 of the women’s State of Origin series, saving ourselves a reflexive call to punt everyone into the bin. It looked like very much not Queensland’s night from the get-go and only got worse from there. For a team that was out-muscled last year and won the series off the back of two stirring victories in the rain, the body language of the Maroons could not have been more dire.
As expected, the women were overpowered through the middle of the field but it was far more disappointing that Queensland didn’t even seem to want to try anything other than sticking to “their” footy. This consisted of working their sets back to the centre of the field, getting knocked around along the way and then kicking far enough that the Blues only just had to start their sets in their own half.
That went on for a while and the no-longer-Sky Blues scored some tries, as any rugby league team will do given that surplus of opportunity. The Maroons refused to change tack. If you’re down two or three scores with heaps of time left in a do-or-die contest, doing the thing that’s not working is not going to win you the game.
Blame for that failure sits partly with the Blues, for doing their job, partly with the coaching, for not coming up with anything else, and partly with Queensland’s lack of depth, for putting hard limits on the available options. Putting aside that the women’s club season hasn’t yet started, different players could have been selected but would that have really made a difference?
Depth has always been Queensland’s handicap. It’s not hard to figure out why a state operating at a near 3 million deficit in population might not be able to generate as many players as consistently across the talent pyramid. While most of the population now lives in the Southeast tri-city area, that wasn’t always the case and the tyranny of distance and the distribution of that population also mean that Queensland doesn’t have as efficient a sieving process to take advantage of what we do have. We might be able to produce the best and we might be able to produce good enough but Queensland will generally do that less frequently than New South Wales.
That’s why the interstate series never suffered for a lack of Queensland interest. It was the arrogance of New South Wales that attributed their victories to their inherent superiority, which would obviously last in perpetuity so there was no point in playing games with the peasants, and not because of their greater numbers and bigger bank balances.
The introduction of Origin rules is presented historically as a massive rebalancing of the scales. In reality, Queensland won the 82, 83 and 84 series with teams that had a majority of players based in Queensland. In 1984, only Innisfail’s Kerry Boustead, Cunnamulla’s Chris Close and Brisbane’s own Paul Vautin and Dave Brown played in Sydney.1 The other 11 played in the BRL, except for game 3 interchange player Bob Kellaway, who was signed to Bradford at the time. Origin is then a more marginal rebalancing, allowing Queensland to dump the one-third of the team that were sub-replacement level for representative matches and find a third that were above that line, closing a nearly century old talent gap and making the contest competitive.
Even if Queensland is an arbitrary construct that exists at the intersection of ‘not New South Wales’ and ‘the eastern part of Australia, north of the 29th parallel’, the disparity in talent between the states arises because of things that have a certain Queenslandiness to them. If we were different, maybe that handicap doesn’t exist and maybe those victories would take a different tenor but we don’t live in that world.
In this world, every win is always hard fought. It always requires something extra to overcome that deficit. When it works, it is heroic. When it doesn’t, there’s only so much you can do and at least you gave it your best. When the Maroons win, they are overcoming a handicap that exists because of who we are.
New South Wales doesn’t seem to… get… that. They’re supposed to win so when they follow through, the victory rings hollow. What adversity did you overcome? You had all the structural advantages2. Congratulations. You really “earned” it.
Those structural factors are coming to the fore again. Coaching the Blues is now the second easiest job in rugby league (after coaching the Jillaroos) and ironically, no one wants the gig. Laurie Daley is back and he’s going to rehabilitate the shit out of his reputation because our patron saint of inexplicable decision making, Billy Slater, has once again shown himself to be Origin genius. Robert Toia, Mo Fotuaika and Rueben Cotter on an edge. Good lord. Was Kurt Capewell not available? Don’t answer that.
Why not Jaxon Purdue, who is as experienced in first grade as Toia and is far more electric? Ben Ikin said, “…at least Billy will actually be able to identify Robert when he first walks into camp, which is a better start than I had back in ’95,” which I find less than encouraging.
Despite what every Raiders fan seems to think, Corey Horsburgh isn’t going to stop that pack from being turned into mincemeat. He’d be an improvement but what is he going to do? Cry all over them?3
Regular readers will know my feelings about Cotter’s form this season. I’m not even going to get into David Fifita but surely Beau Fermor ticks all the Billy boxes and he didn’t get a look in?
Benny Quags over at Beyond the Goalpost, despite being a Blue, got the reaction right. The 2025 series was always going to be an uphill challenge. Between injuries and the available players, the Blues are ascendant. Slater seems intent on increasing the gradient for no apparent reason. This is now a trademark of his tenure, as are his puzzling justifications. “This team [Queensland’s “true” team] you don’t necessarily pick, it picks you.” Wild stuff for someone who talks for a living to say where microphones could record it.
Queensland’s backs have never been more firmly against the wall. This is going to make 2020 look like a walk in the park. They couldn't possibly do it from here.
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Around the grounds
Warriors 16 defeated Dolphins 12. Putting aside the absolutely abysmal refereeing performance, to which the Warriors’ second try can be disgustingly and directly attributed and represents the winning margin, the Dolphins didn't cover themselves in glory. A bunch of handling errors that did get called, against all the odds by the officiating staff4, were the most obvious problem. The Phins also had a great deal of trouble moving the ball to the edges at anything other than a plodding pace. For a team with Herbie, the Hammer, et al, getting them ball in space before the final 10 minutes should be top offensive priority and Redcliffe consistently struggle to execute. Part of this is passing, and relying too frequently on inefficient tap ons instead of actual passing, and part of this is that they just need to straighten up.
Seagles 24 defeated Cowboys 6. That was a pretty dreadful performance. I think the backs did what they could under the circumstances, except for Taulagi who went back to sleep after waking up briefly when he heard Origin mentioned last week, but Jesus Christ, Tom Dearden had an absolute stinker. Couldn't land a pass to save his life and inexplicably missed a tackle that lead to a try. Jaxon Purdue gets a pass for starting a new position but starting to wonder if the winning combo is not Dearden/Purdue but Clifford/Purdue? There's a future where the Cowboys enter a Knights-style bi-monthly halves swap. Real lack of imagination and I praised you like I should (not have). More to come in the next Bovine Bulletin.
Dragons 30 defeated Broncos 26. We've seen this game a number of times over the last few years (bar 2023), so here's the actual Backstreet Boys, looking about as threatening as a Pat Carrigan hit up:
6 minutes? Boy, people had a lot of time in 1997. More to come in the next Pony Picayune (it's just pictures of Jesse Arthars’ butt).
Hunters 24 defeated Devils 18. This is about as close to a regular season classic as you’re going to see in Cup. The start of the game was electric and the Devils look to be getting on top with a rapid succession of tries. Kaho is denied in the corner for a call that I don’t think was all that clear on replay and the Hunters worked their way back into the game, pulling level by halftime. PNG are a much more skillful side than we’ve been used to the bashing and barging psychopaths of Runaway Bay. They managed to get the Devils to tackle themselves out for the game, the fatigue causing errors and Jack Ahearn’s return unsettling a settled lineup, and then applied pressure until Sunny Wabo crossed the line for the last minute, winning try. Would not be disappointed to see this as the grand final.
Raiders 40 defeated Titans 24. Let's hear from the fans via The Sportress:
A year ago if the Canberra Raiders had put 40 on their opposition, won going away and barely got out of second gear I would have been flabbergasted. Poured the world's biggest celebration whisky and put the happy tunes on. This game, in which they rolled through the Gold Coast Titans 40-24 with the intensity of a nauseous partygoer attacking a day-after burger, should have been a celebration.
Intermission
I didn’t catch all of this game but I think the nose into the line and pass from Raydan Burns that sets this in motion speaks for itself. Mackay weathered some early pressure from Wynnum to score this go-ahead try before half time. The Seagulls went up a gear in the second half, running out 34-14 winners.
Hotseat
Hotseat takes a pause while the media sharks circle around Origin carcasses instead. In happier news, the race for Coach of the Year in the Queensland Cup is also hot, but in a good way. Eyes emoji for Rohan Smith, Tye Ingebritsen, Paul Aiton and Terry Campese.
Upcoming Slate
We’re in what I think of as Sludge Time. The novelty of a new year is past. We’ve gotten through Magic Round. The weather is cooling down. The women have already lost the Origin series. It’s time for the NRLM to grind to a complete halt for six to eight weeks with a mix of half rounds and players missing for Origin.
The good news is when we finish, it’s the run to the finals. Not only does the intensity ratchet up among the contending teams facing each other for the top eight, you can also write off a big chunk of the schedule as completely meaningless and totally unwatchable, contested by teams with nothing to play for.
In honour of Sludge Time, the Watch Guide is going to highlight the absolute worst games on this week's slate.
Eels versus Sea Eagles, Friday 5.30pm, Wankbest
Firstly, NSW Cup: awful. I don’t care for the state, the name or the format. The Newtown Jets and North Sydney Bears would be better off abandoning NSW for Queensland Cup and leave the poor facsimiles of NRL teams to it. Secondly, you might think ‘well the Eels are in third place, so they must have something’. Yes but Manly are tenth with a losing record. Pathetic. Finally and most incriminatingly, did you notice the kickoff time? That’s not a typo. That’s not daylight savings. That’s the future the NRL wants with all three grades. A 5.30pm kickoff on Friday in Sydney ahead of an 8pm kickoff for the first grade game. What a joke. Tip: Eels
Panthers versus Knights, Saturday 5.30pm, Bathurst
We were very close to having a zero star game for the first time in what I believe to be a couple of years. The star rating does not take into account the lack of actual stars, who will all be on Origin duty. Did you want to watch Schneider/Talagi go ahead to head with Gamble/Cogger? You got it. It might be the most exciting thing about this contest. Tip: Panthers
Clydesdales versus Magpies, Sunday 2.10pm, Toowoomba
The Clydesdales are bad. It’s not entirely their fault - I would blame whoever sent the original Clydesdales broke back in the mid-00s - but since returning, and rebuilding, Western have six wins in two and a half seasons. Strangely, they are not currently in last place because the Northern Pride can’t pull a trick. The Clydesdales’ points difference is 140 points worse than the Pride’s. Souths Logan are 3-5, grossly underperforming the roster provided by the Broncos (which sounds familiar) but somehow in the finals places. This will likely be lopsided, but you won’t get the benefit of watching Ezra Mam decapitate the Clydesdales fullback, as covered in last week’s newsletter. Tip: Magpies
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Notes
Fears new PNG franchise may need to delay its entry to NRL competition. Lol, we’re six months into this and the rumour mongering has started. Here’s a thing that’s largely been missed though, which is the connection between James Marape’s love of making a big splashy announcement and the complete absence of anything meaningful happening after that. Compare the speed Perth is moving. It’s not clear where the balance of power for delivery sits between Australia and PNG. There’s a good chance that the latter has been saddled with the bulk of responsibility and there’s a really good chance they’re even more dysfunctional than the ARLC. Shit will only really hit the fan if PNG miss future payments to the incumbent clubs. One to keep an eye on. Oh, and a reminder that nothing means anything.
Jersey chat: I quite like the Cowboys’ Indigenous jersey. I wonder if anyone will work out how the Indigenous jerseys are almost all objectively better than the Anzac jerseys. Probably a mystery we will never solve. Can’t say I’m particularly taken with the Broncos’ mental health awareness jersey but will reserve judgement until I see it in use.
Think last week was a weird time to announce the Vegas teams? No women’s test match? Why not? Where are you going, England?
If you missed the AFR’s coverage of Peter V’Landys or didn’t have the attention span, here’s a half hour recap on the AFR podcast.
Tom Gilbert might return for some meaningless fixtures at the end of the year
Nickelware
It’s going to be hilarious when the NRL realises that backloading all the Queensland derbies was a huge error. The Broncos-Titans meltdown isn’t in Sludge Time again, which is appropriate.
Some good content
So, the Nats, huh?
The Nationals have decided Australia’s firm rejection of the conservative parties is a firm rejection of the Liberals, actually, and hit the eject button from the Coalition.
None of the coverage could tell me what this means for the LNP in Queensland. At a state level, very little will change, as even Lawrence Springborg and David Crisafulli realise this and are at pains to distance themselves as much as possible. But for the rusted-ons that gave the LNP 16 federal seats, where do those MPs go? The reporting suggests no one has worked it out yet and the journos seem likely to be last to find out. Can they start their own party room? We could have the Libs (urban petit bourgeoise), the Nats (the rural party, now actively courting the right wing nut job vote) and the LNP (a mix of both but only for Queenslanders). 1950s Labor would be proud because that worked out well for them. The question will become if the Libs dump the nut jobs and maintain their responsible government branding, despite all available evidence, then what is the Labor party for? They both have the same centre-right managerialist ineffectiveness to offer.
My uninformed guess that the Nats want two things. The first is the Liberals seem likely to move in a Teal-y direction, rather than embracing Facebook brainrot, and the Nats want nothing to do with that. They are all in on nuclear for reasons that remain completely unfathomable to me, not least because there are plenty of existing jobs in building renewables in National seats and even country people can engage in NIMBYism that might prevent, say, a meltdown machine being built nearby. It’s probably because solar power, like fluoride in drinking water, turns you gay.
The second is the ability to run in outer suburban seats, the southern equivalents of Dickson, Longman, Fisher and so on. Facebook brainrot kept Dutton in parliament for 20 years despite being overtly evil, so perhaps can get enough primary votes to leapfrog the Libs and pick up a few more seats that way (compare also Greens jumping Labor).
I am fascinated to see how this pans out over the long term.
All of them played for Manly, who tweaked earlier than the rest of the NSWRL that there might be something to mine in Queensland, and as a result, almost landed Wally Lewis and Gene Miles.
Obviously, individuals have their own journeys to reach that point, but applying structural factors to collective team identity is more than fair enough.
Nothing wrong with crying but crying because you’re frustrated in a footy game is not great. Get a fuckin grip, mate. I also realise this was years ago and that Horsburgh might be a different man now but I also don’t care. I don’t like the Red Pig. I’m happy for him to not get $30k if it’s not going to materially change the outcome.
Oh wow did you have the guts to sin bins Fisher Harris for three minutes? What a big boy!